Dear No One,
Hope. “A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.”
Despair. “The complete loss or absence of hope.”
Every month while a couple is trying to get pregnant, they are extremely hopeful. They look up when the due date would be. They think about when they can tell their family. They think about when their first appointment/ultrasound will be. They start planning.
I did this. I am a super planner. I was very naive and SO sure we’d get pregnant on one of our rounds of using clomid (3 years ago). I planned how I’d tell Marcus. How we’d tell our families. How our child’s age would compare to his or her cousins’ ages. We had names. We were so ready.
Month after month, you pick yourself up when your period comes. Your hope comes back. With every passing month, though, that hope starts to dwindle. It becomes despair. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Guilt. Pain.
It is March. Our embryo transfer is March 19. I should be excited, right? As soon as March hit, though, I realized that I haven’t had any hope for getting pregnant in a long time. I am ready and I am excited for the opportunity. But I find myself guarding my heart as I am scared to hope.
I am scared to take a pregnancy test again as it normally triggers a lot of tears and pain. I am scared this won’t work. I am scared my body can’t do this. I am scared to hope. I am scared to feel. I am scared if this doesn’t work, I will only know despair. I am scared.
But I have to have hope. I wouldn’t be able to put my body through all of this if I wasn’t hopeful that it will work. I know beneath it all, I have hope. And no matter what, I am positive we will build our family one way or another.
So for those of you out there who are struggling to hope, keep this in mind:
“We must accept finite disappointment but must never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
All my love,
Betsy
Dear No One 
Dearest Betsy, I know how scary this must be. It will take all your faith and courage to focus all the love you can muster. The emotions we feel are chemicals in our body. Create a loving and welcoming space within your heart where there is no room for fear or worry. This takes a strong desire, faith, and focus. Use the chemistry of your body by showering yourself with divine love. Tell worry and fear to step aside for the time being. I’m holding you in my heart and surrounding you with pure, positive, love-energy.
Take a deep breath; release all apprehension.
Trust the process. Be calm.
I love you, Auntie Jean
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I know Exactly how you feel and I dont Blame you one bit!! It’s so hard to keep your heart open when it’s been crushed so many times. I have My 3rd attempt at egg retrieval this Wednesday. I’m trying my hardest to go Into it positive. “Always believe something wonderful is about to happen”❤️Best of luck !! Sending you positivity your miracle will start on March 19th!
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Oh wow!! I’m not sure I’d even make it to a third egg retrieval. I hated how I felt for the weeks after! You are so strong!! Best of luck! Will you do a fresh transfer?? Thinking of you! Maybe March will be our month. ❤️
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Switched drs and having the best results thus far! Planning for a fresh transfer but anything can happen . But March is going to be our Month.
B E L I E V E. We will both have December babies if it works!! There will be plenty of time afterwards if it doesn’t work to stress lol fingers crossed girl!!🤞🏼🤞🏼
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