Tag: mom

It’s Really That Hard, Mama

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Dear No One,

Before kids, I worked in a school providing one-on-one therapy to young children with autism. Every day was different. Every day brought new challenges. And it was so fulfilling and rewarding to connect with a child or see them meet goals that once seemed out of reach

Fast forward to now…I am working my dream job as a stay-at-home mom to two boys.

I thought my degree in child development and years working with young children was enough. I thought I’d sail through this motherhood thing.

Yet I have found that these boys test my patience and ability to care and teach young children more than any other child I have ever worked with.

Are they more difficult than other children? No.

But being their mom requires me to be mentally and emotionally available 24/7. Even once they fall asleep at night, there is no guarantee that one or both won’t need me throughout the night. Somehow I think they’ve actually worked out a schedule of who will get up each night.

Then we wake up and spend all day together too. There are good days, even great days. But there are also bad days where all I can do is pray to make it until my husband walks through the door at night.

I am an introvert who needs and desires time to myself to recharge. Yet in the worst moments with my kids…you know them, toddler tantrums and teething babes…in those moments where I need some space to recharge, they need me more. That is when they cling to me. Even when my toddler is mad at me, he wants to sit on my lap and talk to me/scream in my ear.

So even though I have always worked with children and have a degree claiming I’m some kind of professional, there is no harder job than being a mom. There is nothing more mentally, emotionally, and physically draining than putting on my “mom hat” every day (well honestly I never take it off. It’s 24/7 remember?)

There is also nothing more rewarding than watching my boys learn new skills and develop relationships with each other, but it doesn’t make it easy.

So I am here to say that it is okay to love your kids but still need space. It is okay to lose your patience. Those moments can teach your children humility and forgiveness. If you show them love and forgiveness in their worst moments, they will do the same to you.

I’m only two years in, but this is by far the hardest job I’ve had the honor of holding. Give yourself some grace. No one is perfect, especially when you’re working 24/7 shifts.

All my love,

Betsy

You’re Going to Miss This

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Dear Mamas,

Do you constantly hear “you’ll miss this?”

I hear it all the time. And I know I’ll miss this time. I know I’ll miss having my babies home with me every day. I know I’ll miss their snuggles and kisses and giggles.

But let me be honest. I constantly feel stuck between “soak up this moment” and “praying just to make it through the day (or night).”

I’ve got a toddler who is so fun to play and interact with, and it is so much fun to have conversations with him. I sometimes feel like I’ve got this mom thing down when he sweetly says, “thank you Mommy” or “you’re welcome Mommy.” But he’s also an independent toddler finding his own opinion (on everything!!), and we have days where he spends most of his time crying or shouting about not getting his way.

I have a happy, smiley seven month old who loves nothing more than his mama to sit and talk to him. I adore his giggles. But he can also instantly turn on the tears the moment I walk away. So my day is often spent sitting on the floor next to him, while I look around at everything not getting done.

Mamas. These days are hard. They are sweet. They are everything. They fill your heart while also making you wonder if you’ve actually lost your mind. You love so deeply yet don’t want to be touched anymore. You bounce back and forth between feeling adequate as a mother and questioning everything you do.

So yea, I already know I am going to miss these days. I see it when I look back at baby photos of my toddler and wonder where that time went.

But I also look forward to the days ahead. Not scheduling days around naps or feedings. Walking out of the house without a huge bag of diapers and extra clothes and bottles and an entire pantry full of snacks.

So when I hear “you’ll miss this,” I tend to feel guilty for not cherishing every moment. But the moments aren’t just beautiful and full of love. They are full of tantrums and spit up too.

I promise you that every mama is soaking up the moments when she can, even if she’s struggling to make it through the day. I promise that if you’re feeling guilty for wishing time away, you aren’t the only one. Look for some good in every day, but give yourself some grace when the only good you can find is that you made it to bedtime.

These days are tough, but so are you.

All my love,

Betsy