Dear Mamas,

While telling my husband about the joys and difficulties of each day of staying home, my new motto has become, “this is just a season of our life.”

My season right now is filled with days at home. Running with a toddler to the potty. Feeding my four month old a bottle with my chin so I can help my toddler undress and get up on the potty (because toddlers always have to go right when you start feeding the baby. Mine isn’t the only one, right?!) Snuggles. Take out food. Laundry. Amazon Prime. Carrying two kids at once. Peanut butter sandwiches. Yoga pants and messy buns. Crying  (baby, toddler, and mama). ABCs. Cooking. Multiple wakings a night. Coffee. Movies. Playing the same game over and over. Washing bottles. Doctor appointments. Giggles.

Some of the best and hardest days of my life.

Some days I feel so accomplished. The toddler pooped in the potty! The baby slept all night! The laundry is done AND folded. Dinner is made. Bills are paid. Groceries are bought. I showered (no…it doesn’t happen every day). Worked out. Kids ate their veggies. Toddler named all the right colors in his book.

Some days I can barely pull myself out of bed after a rough night with baby. We watch multiple movies. We eat pizza and cookies. The only thing close to my makeup being done is the smeared eyeliner from two days before (one of those accomplished days). I am grumpy and snap at the toddler when he cries for my attention.

My biggest realization lately: I can’t do it all. Moms!! You can’t do it all. Or even if you can, you shouldn’t.

You are human. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to have a bad day. You do not have to be perfect for your children.

If you feel like you aren’t living up to your own expectations for yourself as a mother, that just means you are setting them so high because you love your children. You LOVE them. Even on the bad days (where let’s be honest) maybe your kids are driving you crazy, you still love them. Unconditionally.

As mothers, we will go through many seasons. From being their only caretaker to sending them off to college, we are all in a tough season.

Because motherhood is hard. It demands your constant attention. Even when the kids are sleeping. Or staying over at a friend’s house for the first time. Or going on a first date. They never leave you. You will always be responsible for them and their hearts. And that is a huge responsibility that can sometimes feel too heavy a burden to carry. But you do it anyway because you love them. And as my mother has informed me, it never goes away.

Our children need us. They always will. They will just need us in different ways.

Honestly, there are days where I can’t wait for the next season, but I also know there will come a day when I am longing for my days at home with my boys. The days where I am the one who offers them the most comfort. The days of carrying both boys because I know that soon enough, they won’t want me to even hold their hands.

In every day, even the bad days, look for something good. Look for something to hold on to in your memory. Something to be thankful for.

Today, in all honesty, wasn’t a great day. My husband is working a 24 hour shift, I’m alone with the boys, and I wasn’t my best. But I made Daxon smile his real, beautiful, authentic smile multiple times today. And I snuggled Pace for an extra nap this evening. I wasn’t my best, but I gave them what I had. Instead of beating myself up for what I didn’t give them, tonight I’ll remember the little moments we did have together. I’ll remember Daxon cheering Pace up by dancing and singing over top of him while I was rushing to make a bottle. Carrying them both down the stairs and Daxon grabbing Pacyn’s hand.

Days are long, but the seasons are short. Take them all in with the good and the bad. Give yourself a break because some days are just hard. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be there for them. Love them.

You may not see it, but you are doing a great job. Whatever you did today, it is enough. You are enough for your children. No matter the season, you are an amazing mother.

All my love,

Betsy