Dear No One,

I’m sure you’ve all desperately been missing my posts! Right??! Let’s just say the first trimester was…rough.

But hello second trimester!! I am now 15 weeks pregnant and feeling so much better. I feel like a real human again. But I’m not here to talk pregnancy.

I struggled for the last couple months to know how to keep advocating for infertility and being a support system to others now that I am pregnant. Honestly, I knew that in my deepest struggle, I got nothing from people telling me about how they got through infertility and all the beautiful children they have now. I know that you don’t want me to tell you that “it will happen for you!!” Because you know what?? I don’t know what your story will be like in the end. Will you do IUI? Seven rounds of IVF? Donated embryo? Surrogate? Private adoption? Foster care? No children? I. Don’t. Know.

I wish my experience of getting pregnant on our first round of IVF could be the hope everyone needs. But I know better. I see women who are on their sixth round of IVF. I know women who were days behind me and miscarried. I know people who can’t afford anymore treatments. Or adoption. Or emotionally afford to put their heart out to hope at all. Somehow, we’ve turned into the “lucky ones.”

Believe me when I say, I don’t take one day of being pregnant for granted. Even in the hardest days, I would do this all over again to be here now.

So I’m here to say, I’m still here. I will still listen to you. But I also understand if talking to me with my growing belly is too difficult. I’m still here. I’m praying for you. I’m constantly thinking of you all. If you can use our story for hope, great! If you feel jealous, I’ve been there. I don’t judge you.

Keep your head up. Find support that is helpful to you. Know that I’m always here to talk. But know that I understand if I am not that person for you (at least for now).

All my love,

Betsy